Fountain of Neptune

Michelangelo looked at this fountain and reportedly said, "Ammannato, Ammannato, what beautiful marble you have ruined." It's one of the most famous insults in art history, and the big white Neptune standing in the center of the basin has been enduring critical abuse ever since. Florentines nicknamed him "Il Biancone" — the Big White One — and the mockery stuck for five centuries.

But here's the thing: the fountain was a technical marvel. Completed by Bartolomeo Ammanati in 1575 to celebrate Cosimo I's naval ambitions and Florence's new aqueduct, it was the first major public fountain in Florence. The octagonal basin's bronze figures — satyrs, nymphs, and sea horses by Giambologna and workshop — are genuinely superb, and art historians have been quietly arguing for decades that the surrounding bronzes are better than most people realize while the central Neptune unfairly takes all the blame.

The fountain has had a rough life beyond the insults. In 1580, Florentine youths used it as a public bath during summer festivals. Vandals have attacked it periodically — in 2005, a drunk man climbed it and broke Neptune's hand. During festivals and football celebrations, it's served as the city's communal bathing pool, much to the horror of conservators.

Despite everything, it commands the piazza. Neptune stands nearly six meters tall, trident raised, water cascading around his feet, with the Palazzo Vecchio looming behind. Michelangelo may have been uncharitable, but Ammanati got the location right — you can't not look at it.